Actually it wasn’t his first since he saw a doctor in Taiwan, but it was his first visit with us. We learned that Evan is a tall, thin boy- 75th percentile for height, 20th percentile for weight. He is meeting or exceeding every developmental check point and the doctor declared that he is a strong, healthy boy. Sadly for the kids, it is recommended that they redo all vaccinations and that they be tested for a series of illnesses. So today Evan received 4 shots and had to get blood drawn from both arms since they couldn’t get enough the first time. He cried, understandably, but when they were done, he was all smiles and told everyone in the office, “Bye-bye.” He seemed unusually happy and snuggly at home tonight and I’m sure it was because he was so relieved to be done with that 2 hour ordeal.
Now we have to go back on Monday for a TB test and I’m supposed to take in a stool sample that is less than 30 minutes old. I remember the day I had to take in Ava’s stool sample- somehow it dropped out of the diaper bag and a young man at the doctor’s office picked it up and handed it to me. I was mortified, but he didn’t seem to know what he was handling.
I continue to wonder about and be fascinated in the differences between boys and girls, and first children and second children. For example, it is easier for me to see Evan fall than it was when Ava fell. Is this because he is a boy and I think he can handle it? Is it because I’ve watched one child learn important lessons from falling and I know he needs to learn the same? When we had Ava’s blood drawn a couple months after she came home, I started crying before we even went in and the nurse gave me permission to stay outside the room. I could hear Ava screaming and I was so glad she wasn’t associating me with that painful event. Today, Evan had to have blood drawn and I held him through it all without shedding a tear. Again, is it because he’s a boy and i think he’s less fragile, or is it because I’ve already had one child go through it and she doesn’t even remember it?
The doctor and the lab technicians went on and on about how great it is that people adopt and how lucky these children are. Hopefully they will appreciate the family they are a part of, but truly it is Nathan and I who are the lucky ones. Ava and Evan accept and love us unconditionally. They are affectionate and cuddly, entertaining and full of life. Everyone I know who has adopted says the same thing, but it is incredible how perfectly the children are matched to their parents. I can’t imagine having any other children than the ones we have. I had a lot of anxiety before each child came home- wondering if they would attach well, wondering if I would parent them well, wondering if they would be happy and healthy- and now I see that was unnecessary worrying. They are both doing so amazingly well. I would love to take credit for that, but honestly that’s how they came to us.
Ava went to a Waldorf preschool and on the children’s birthdays they tell a story about how each person starts out as a starbaby in the heavens looking down on the earth. When it is time for the child to come to earth, he/she chooses a set of parents. I love the idea that Ava and Evan chose us and endured the long route to get here. I hope, in the end, they are pleased with their decision.