A lot of people asked me if I was “ready” for Evan. I mumbled something in response, but the fact is, I wasn’t. On purpose, believe it or not.
My thinking was, I worried like crazy about Ava, then everything that I worried about didn’t happen, and then a bunch of stuff that never occurred to me happened instead.
And that was wasted effort, in my book. So I figured, “Evan will be like nothing I ever imagined. I just need to get to know him and everything else will fall into place.”
Also, deep down, I was thinking, “Dude, he’s totally going to go for Diana first. Are you kidding me? You’ll get to see Taiwan, then at night it will be like, “Oh, honey, he won’t sleep? Did you try the bottle? Yeah? Awww. Well, listen, I’m just going to put in my ear plugs and put on my eye shield, now. See you guys in the morning.””
Then, beef noodles for breakfast. Boo-yah! Win-win.
After all, that was my experience with Ava. It was a hard-fought, weeks-long battle to get her to trust me. When we left China, she was just letting me hold and comfort her– 19 days after she met me.
But, maybe because he’s a boy, Evan has been far more into me from the beginning. Now (a mere week after meeting me) he lets me hold him and rests his head on my shoulder when he’s sad, but even when he was basically a barnacle hiding in an ergo carrier on Diana, I would catch his little dark eyes staring at my every move. Yeah, he wants Diana to comfort him when he’s scared or hurt, but who does he yell for proudly when he’s managed to pull over something really large and really do some damage?
Daddy, that’s who. He senses our kinship. And he’s right– Deep down I can’t help relating to his feeling that the world is full of stuff begging to be smashed and destroyed. My mouth is saying “No”, while my heart is saying, “Damn, boy! You broke the hell out of that shelf of knick-knacks! Good job!”